The Pastiche


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Restaurant Review: Gourmet Delights where Least Expected

Movie Review: May the Force Give me a Break!

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"We're police officers -- we're not trained to handle this kind of violence!" Demolition Man

"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is full." Henry Kissinger

Gourmet delights where least expected
by Sam N. Ella

Upon entering the Letitia Pate Evans Dining Hall, I was immediately aware of the pleasant atmosphere. The meals are served in a quaint cafeteria style reminiscent of school days. As I approached the entrance to the serving line, I became aware of mouth-watering aromas. When I walked through the door I discovered I had a wide variety to choose from. There was the obligatory salad bar and, of course, a cereal bar. The selection changes from day to day.

The day I went, they served lemon pepper chicken, carrot-mushroom loaf, red beans, rice, Greek spinach pie, and featured lentil soup as the soup of the day. The lemon pepper chicken had just the right amount of tang and was delightfully juicy. The carrot-mushroom loaf has some undefinable quality that made me want more. Of course, I can't forget the simple yet filling red beans and rice. The Greek spinach pie had a good flavor without being overpowering.

The lentil soup was especially tasty, with just the mix of seasonings to balance the flavor of the lentils. For desert I had fresh cookies and ice cream. I was very happy with the reasonable prices. I had a most enjoyable experience and would highly recommend the Letitia Pate Evans Dining Hall.

May the Force give me a break!
by G. Lucas

I cannot believe I went to see the Star Wars Trilogy. After seeing it for the first time on the big screen, I want my money back. I don't see what all the hype was about. I sat through Star Wars praying someone would come along and shoot me. Star Wars was followed by The Empire Strikes Back three weeks later. How about the Patron Strikes Back? I fell asleep halfway through the movie. It took a lot of convincing -- and someone promising to pay for the ticket -- for me to finish off the series. I finally went to see Return of the Jedi earlier this week with a group of friends who were determined to show me that this series was the best. After seeing Return of the Jedi, I had to ask, "Why did we have to return to see this movie? I didn't want to come in the first place!"

There are several reasons why I would never make my worst enemy see these movies. The first was the acting. It was lousy and I could have sworn I heard several people feeding the actors their lines. The special effects were dull, inconsistent, and childish. It would have been more believable to use puppets. The movie lacked a plot of any kind; I have seen better writing from two-year-olds. Also, the storyline was not believable. Who will believe that there is some all-powerful "Force" that controls my actions? Give me a break. There were some additional petty problems I could have overlooked if there had been a plot. Hans Solo had more hair on his chest than Luke Skywalker had on his head.

For those of you that wish to ignore my warning, may the Force be with you! There is also a disgusting plot twist (if that is possible in a movie with no plot): Luke and Leia are twins. They find out in the last movie, after having spent the first two movies kissing and hugging and pawing each other. Absolutely unacceptable. Overall, I give these movies two thumbs down.